Osho explains the key to moving beyond yourself-as-ill or as the sufferer.
In you there are two worlds: the world of birth and death, and the world that is transcendental. Yes, the body can be very ill, and yet there may be no illness in you – if you don’t get attached to illness, if you don’t get identified with illness, if you don’t start thinking ‘I am ill.’ It is only a kind of hypnosis. It has to be learned through many, many doors.
When you feel hungry, what do you say? You say, I am hungry.’ You are not – the body is hungry, the organism is hungry. You are just a watcher, you are just seeing that the body is hungry. Then you eat and you fed satisfied, and you say, ‘Now I am satisfied, fully satisfied.’ You are not satisfied, because you were not hungry in the first place. First your mirror was reflecting the hungry man standing in front of you, and now your mirror reflects the satisfied man standing before you – but the mirror was never hungry and the mirror is not satisfied either.
One day you are healthy, another day you are ill – the mirror reflects! The function of the mirror is just to reflect whatsoever is the case. But each time you get identified.
Stop this identifying yourself with things that are standing in front of you, and suddenly you will see you have never been ill and never been hungry and never been born, and never are you going to die.
You are the very source of eternity. You are eternal.
You think you suffer! You have never suffered.’ You think you enjoy, you have never enjoyed. You have always been just a witness. Suffering has happened, but you have never suffered. Joy has come, but you have never enjoyed. They have been passing phases, climates that come and go, clouds that surround the moon and disappear. But you! – you remain in yourself, undisturbed, undistracted.
To face sickness squarely means to go on seeing that you are not it – that’s what it means, to face it squarely, to go on seeing that ‘I am not it.’
Question yourself: Who is suffering? Who is dying? Who has become old? Question, go on questioning, and by and by you will see, ‘The one who is suffering is not me, the one who has become old is not me, the one who is going to die is not me.’
And don’t be in a hurry to answer it, because that answer will be false. You can be very wise, you can say, ‘Yes, I am the soul and this is the body.’ But this will be bogus. Let there come an insight, a realization, a sudden clarity, a transparency – that you see it: ‘I am not suffering.’ Remember it: seeing is the thing. It is not an answer to be fetched from the memory. It is an insight to be fetched from your deepest core of being. You have to throw the net of questioning. And if you go on throwing the net, and if you are not satisfied by your bogus memory, sooner or later you will catch the fish and that fish makes you free. It liberates. Truth liberates.
The day you come to this originality of your being, the eternal one – that day you become an emperor. That day all is benediction. That day nothing is missing. And that day you will have a good laugh too, because you will see that day that nothing was ever missing – you just got entangled into reflections. You got entangled with guests and you lost track of the host.
Be the host!
(Osho Zen: The Path of Paradox, Volume 3)