Grief can follow after any sort of loss, but most powerfully after the death of someone we love. It can encompass a whole succession of feelings, such as numbness, agitation, guilt, anger, sadness, relief and reflectiveness and letting go.
Individuals vary in how they grieve and the time needed – from months or years.
Cultures and individuals have their own beliefs and ceremonies. However, they all share many experiences.
With the support of family, friends and colleagues and spiritual advisors, most people are able to come to terms with their loss even though this may take some time. It may be that for personal or circumstantial reasons the grieving process is supressed. This unresolved grief can lead to health and emotional problems further down the line such as strange physical symptoms and repeated episodes of depression.
If after time you find you are still unable to cope with your loss, there is a range of voluntary and professional help available to you, such as peer support groups, your religious or spiritual advisor, your doctor, bereavement counsellors and psychiatrists. Please see our Resources section below for information leaflets and other primarily UK-based support.
Cruse Bereavement Care is a UK charity with an informative website giving information on aspects of bereavement and grief including:
- Supporting a bereaved person
- Supporting yourself
- Children & young people – offers extensive help; also Help for Schools
- Traumatic bereavement – includes help from those bereaved through suicide, accident, violent crime, drugs & alcohol
- Military bereavement
Cruse offers help in the UK via telephone, email, face to face support, also supporting children and young people, those at work and offering a variety of useful publications.
Osho is asked: How to be, what to do with my feelings when my beloved dies?
Osho talks about the difference between grieving and sadness; and the place of gratitude when we lose someone we have loved.
Osho explains that the root of grief lies in our not having been total in our loving
Articles on Grief
Article by Maneesha on her evolving relationship with her mother and the realization that with her mother’s death, as a child she too will die.
A short article by grief specialist, Kirsty West
An article by Brian Theriault
A selection of articles collated by modernloss.com
Resources for Bereavement and Grief
Recommended Books on Grief – Some recommended reading from the OSHO Sammasati ‘library’ with comments from Maneesha and/or Amazon reviews. Osho books are shown at the beginning.
Bereavement: key facts – translated into various languages, this is a useful summary of grief’s characteristics and when to get help
Bereavement – a more in-depth discussion of grief and where to get help
Restoring Hope – main booklet from Cruse Bereavement Care
Bereavement – a self-help guide from the NHS
A brief guide to the grieving process
Some coping strategies which may be helpful
A useful guide to what grief is, how it manifests and how we can deal with it
Some people are able to talk to friends and family about their loss and bereavement, and many find talking to a professional counsellor or psychotherapist beneficial.
Contains a section on grief including coping with grief as a teenager; and supporting a child when someone dies.
UK charity supporting bereaved parents and their families after a child dies
Winston’s Wish – UK Charity for supporting bereaved children
The death of someone in the family, whether sudden or expected, changes everything. Although supporting a bereaved child can seem daunting, grief is normal – and necessary – and needs to be expressed. Here we give you some simple, straightforward and practical ways to support children and young people when someone important in their life has died.